Today no pictures, just my thoughts. I think if i don't pen them down, I won't be able to sleep tonight. To me, friendship means lots. It is not only simple of getting along, but trust and the effort to maintain. Today I tried to explain myself to the guys but it seems instead that I am angry. Maybe I am, but I am definitely hurt. Maybe I trust and consider people as my friends very easily and that is why I get hurt.

I never want to neglect or ignore a friend of mine. 2 years in the same class including first three months, I of course considered her as a friend. You were actually the first female friend I had in S13. Seowsian and oxy switched to bio chem class. You were the only girl I knew on day 1 after first 3 months. I admit that I may not be the best of friends that remembers birthday or hang out in every gathering, but I am sure I will be one of those friends helping if the person ever needs help. But it hurts me when repeated turn downs were received and it only send the signal that you are not interested in coming. I still can remember the last time I saw you at the gathering from the start till the end was when we were celebrating Yvonne's birthday. To clarify, it is her 19th birthday. Since that gathering, it was so difficult to keep up with you. "Sorry, I cannot make it" just 1 day before gathering when msgs were sent out for weeks. I will get tired too. Each time you can't make it, we have doubts. Slowly, to prevent us from disappointment, we do not invite. 1 year of gatherings, I had to plead and pester so much that you came by for the BBQ. I was touched. But I knew you were uncomfortable. Was it my fault for not being persistant enough in the past to ensure u attend all gathering?

I forgot ur 21st birthday. I am sorry. I am not hurt by the fact that you did not invite us to the party. I am happy for you. At least you were having a party and celebrating with ur close friends. But what disappoints and hurts me was the excuse gave for not inviting. We are stepping into the adult world, we will understand. Not inviting because we ain't that close friends, we understand. If we were to attend knowing that invited were ur close friends, we won't feel good too. But the excuse really hurt our hearts. How much we cannot be the same old girls' gang like in JC days, our hearts still hope well for you. Truthfully speaking, it is really disappointing and because we felt disappointed it only shows we still consider you as our friend.

Friendship how much pain can it brings you?