Here I am typing on my blog again. Today, I felt rather restless. Couldn't concentrate on work. Kept thinking of my A levels results. I did a blog search today. It seems like many people out there do not seem to be worrying about their results. Or am I the only "free" person. Chinese New Year is round the corner. And I just can have fun. How? Leaving for Malaysia on next friday. Wanna buy so many stuff.. Hehe..

Life is very tough.. how? kept thinking if I can't make it, what will happen? I don't want to let my parents down. But I really got this feeling. I just do not know what to do. Goodness.
I suddenly remember a word my younger sister used last night- facade. The pronunciation is so funny. But it was the meaning that made me ponder. A false front. I think it is something that everyone has. Or is it only me again? I am trying so hard to be strong. I maybe very nosiy, or strong headed that sometimes people mistaken that i'm arrogant. But I'm not. I may also act like I do not care, but actually I do. Many times I may seem unaffected, but I often hurt badly. Pretending to be happy was what I do always. If ever my friends read this, I bet they will feel cheater. But truthful deep down inside, aren't everyone like that? Or is it only me again? Deep down in me, I'm who I am. What you see is me, but the point when I face obstacles, i will not show my true self. Never will I show my weak side. Never. Since my Yunnan trip OCIP, I learnt that I should never show my true self when I face obstacles. It only makes things worse. Hehe.. suddenly so serious=p

Now, orchard is about to rain again. rain heavyily I guess. Tomorrow I going down tpo temple again. Pray for good results. It may not happen but I still have faith. Tomorrow also going to wrap popiah with meat floss. Hehe.. giving to shi kai.. I don't have a younger brother so most prob I'll treat him like one.think that he is adopted from Vietnam. It only maka me dote him more. Though he is much luckier than his fellow countrymen, but being born in Vietnam but brought up in Singapore, when he finds out that his biological mother do not want him, I wander what will it be like. All i hope is that he is happy. *Bleah*

By the way, zixiang go army today liao.. kinda miss gor.. haha.. I wonder are all guys like him? He still loves his first love so much, even though he kinda flirts alot. Never fails to have a crush on new girls. Never forget the day that was suposedly her birthday, he was so quiet and depressed. Why the rest of the guys I know are not like him.

Liangshi changes girlfriend like clothes. Whether he has true feelings for them? I don't know. But I truely believe that he did love them once, no matter how long it was. But I still cannot understand how can he forget the other party so quickly even though she did not do anyhting that is as bad as mine. I do not know whether am I like him? Or i have a valid excuse. I was a bad girl. Toyed with one feelings and got my retribution. I was hurt physically and emotionally. But I guess people will always say it is an excuse. Sijie is another one. He said he likes jasmine over these period of 3years but suddenly he is with Puay Hoon. Is it because she loved him first and at the same time he had good impression for her? But luckily once this romance started, he had loved her whole heartedly. Recently I even heard Puay Hoon was angry when Sijie wanted to take car driving test with liyun. Look.. It is normal to have such feeling right. If my boyfriend kept talking about another gal, I'll get very jealous. Or even my female friend talks alot about my boyfriend. This is why now I don't hold any grudges that suay lun was angry when I kept speaking about Andrew. I was just simply pissed that he used violence. So puay hoon, I understand how you feel.Maybe we just have to control. I'm tryin gto control too. Worse, mine not boyfriend. Is guess that I still love my first love in JC. Gosh!Isn't that more pathetic! Okie, blog more when I reach home.. Knocking off soon.. hehe.. Today is the day i start pondering and really search my feelings deep low inside.